What's Hot…What's Not…You Decide!

Who's Taking a Stand at the Altar Today?

Remember the advice they used to give the mother of the groom? "Show up. Shut up. And wear beige."

Well, she's still showing up, but she's not silent anymore. And she's definitely not wearing beige. Try a poppy red sleek number or a black pant suit, maybe, but clearly not beige.

American weddings in the 21st century have had their traditions blasted, recreated and updated to meet changing times. There are no set guidelines anymore.

MOG-zillas - Weddings Unlimited, Inc.

With the soaring costs of weddings, the groom's family often shares the purse strings these days, with his mom having stepped out of the shadows. Whether you get the stereo typed domineering mother-in-law (MOG-zillas) or the kinder, gentle version depends on well, who you marry. Talk among the wedding industry say there appears to be enough of both going around.

One wedding planner stated that a mother of the groom showed up at the wedding with her own personal photographer: A teenager who ended up getting in the way of the professional photographer hired by the bride.

Others have commented that the MOG was a valued asset and they couldn't have managed without her extra set of hands. I can take a personal stand here, as I was the planner for my son and soon to be daughter-in-law. Today, I have a daughter, instead of DIL. My most recent wedding included the future mother-in-law and she rated a ten with the mother and bride.

One way or the other, you (the bride) need to know that the mother of the groom is now a big factor in the big day. The more dollars contributed, the more the MOG can get involved and have more of a say. Doesn't it make sense that if the grooms today are getting more involved in the planning process, why shouldn't his parents?

It's up to you to decide what role she will play. Planning a wedding is all about compromise. If she's good at details…make her a hands-on mother of the groom. Invite her to go on the venue search, shopping for the gown and/or flowers. If she prefers a low profile role, let her be the behind-the-scenes MOG and help with invitation addressing and replies.

Always remember: It's your day! At the end of each planning day, you and your groom ultimately make the final decisions.

Suggested reading: Sharon Naylor's, Mother of the Groom

E-mail Joyce with your comments or questions.